marți, 27 iulie 2010

Best Chuck Norris facts

- Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and he won.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
- Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
- Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
- Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
- Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
- Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero
- Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
- They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
- Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
- The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
- For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

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